Love Is Not All We Need,It Is Not The Glue To Lasting Relationship.

Welcome

Without communication, there is no relationship.

Without respect there is no Love,

Without trust there is no need to continue

I don't blame anybody who idealize love,but we should understand that the LOVE Jesus talked about is different.

I am talking about romantic love ie EROTIC LOVE.
The law of attraction made it clear for us to understand.

Romantic love happens when a man is attracted to a woman, or a woman to a man.
It can never sustain a relationship all by itself because it happens when some chemicals are released in the brain.
the sparked chemicals flows in the cells and activates the attraction, if something happens that the brain is allergic to,the cells will begin to shrink and the feeling will begin to ebb.

Overtime the affected individual will begin to resent the person they were once attracted to,they'd not find comfort in each other any longer. the attractiveness will wear off gradually, this is the reason you'd see two people who so much love each other turn into sworn enemies.
They have fallen out of romantic love but they still have the love of God,which made them to not want to kill each one of them or harm themselves but they have gone their separate ways.

If we are ranking what keeps a relationship love comes after respect and understanding,these two makes it possible for an individual to TRUST the person he or she is in a relationship with, at this stage it has become necessary to LOVE them unconditionally.
Remember what God instructed?'Love whom you married " its never "marry whom you love"

If you understand a person, you will be able to respect them and you will treat them properly ,these will make your love healthy and sustainable, you will trust them,the trust is birthed from understanding and respect, this makes it hard for you to judge them,you would wait to hear from them .you would give them the benefit of doubt.

Because you have come to trust them,you can give space for a second chance, after all human frailty is not ruled out.

You can love someone and they will be abusing you,you can love someone and they won't treat you properly, someone you love may not share similar basic value with you and both of you may end up having unresolved issues.
If you meet an individual with a dysfunctional life , you may not come out of it whole, they will mess up love because they have little or no understanding of who you are and care less about what you hold in high esteem.

The time I met Jay I was an apostle of (All you need is love)it was an exciting early stages for us,that kind of love that make you wish there were no nights,I wanted to spend all day and night in his company, as a hopeless romantic Jay swept me off my feet with dotting,he loved me in a very crazy way and shared with me sweet words that made me shiver and excited.

I saw glimpses of his abusive attitude when he'd flare up anytime I missed his calls or had my mobile phone switched off,I tried severally to make him understand that it's not every second that I'd be with my phone but he gave me instructions to never miss his calls,according to him "it makes him uncomfortable", he didn't put me into consideration, my job and the fact that I may not be open for phone conversation at every moment, he failed to understand my life style and he had no trust in me,yet he loved me crazily.

At a point he bought me a phone and a sim and told me it'd be just for two of us,no one else should call me on that sim and that I must make sure the phone doesn't go off.
Well I couldn't cope with his order, I was working and also engaged in an online course.
He got so mad one evening and smashed the phone he bought for me and threatened to hit me if I fail to tell him about the other guys in my life, to him it wasn't work and class that kept me away from my phone.

It was difficult for me to cope with his attitude, we had one issue after another, he sent people to monitor my activities and tracked my online activities, he'd come back and apologise to me,and always claimed it was because he " loved me".it wasn't a healthy love, there was no room for understanding,he didn't allow respect to guide him,he relied on the emotional surge and physical attractiveness he had to fuel his desires, at the end it was a dysfunctional love.

I used his iPad one day to log into my Facebook page and forgot to log out,he saw it but instead of logging my profile out,he saved my personal information and used it to track me.

Because he had no understanding of me,the trust and respect that would have guided him weren't there,he copied messages that a a certain guy who enjoyed trolling me sent to me and concluded it was a guy I had a thing with,he abused sweat off me,I could not tolerate him further and I walked away from him.

Deep inside I loved him but his attitude wasn't anything I could put up with,I knew he'd not change and I wasn't ready to mortgage my happiness and peace of mind.

Why do we tolerate behaviors that we ordinarily wouldn't tolerate from our friends and other people from the one we love and we are in a relationship with?how do we idealize LOVE and believe it is the solution to all our life problems?

You can love whom you don't trust.

You can love someone who doesn't even love you.

You can love someone who doesn't treat you properly.

I come to realize that I spent longer time in a relationship with the people I respect and trust than the people I felt crushing emotions for,I started dating at 19 and am in my late 20s,at least I have had five strong relationships,I have tasted both and I just gave my verdict, psychologically Love doesn't birth trust,understanding and respect do.

We should not idealize love,it has led a lot of people astray,if there's no trust or respect, its not worth having,
Even love itself knows that love is not all we need