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Hello Chioma,
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 years and would consider us to be very serious. whenever I try and talk about marriage he doesn't like it and tells me to stop focusing on it, I love him so much and know he is the one for me why after all this time won't he ask me if he loves me the way he says he does which is unconditionally then I don't understand.I am 28 and he is 35,we are both working and earns salaries that can keep us comfortable.
My response
Alright honey, let’s break down your situation here before we start worrying about the proposal itself.
You said that you consider your relationship of 6 years to be very serious?. Let’s say that one more time—YOU consider a relationship of 6 years to be serious. I would hope it is more than consideration you have at this point seeing how long you have been together that statement should be a declaration of a known fact, that you are very serious and you both know that.
You said he tells you he loves you unconditionally?—he is lying, he loves you with conditions and it is all about what is acceptable to him in your relationship, and apparently talking about marriage is not one of those things. If he is telling you to stop focusing on marriage, it’s because he isn’t.
What would that marriage look like anyways? You being told what you can and can’t talk about, I'm wondering if he has emotionally invested in this relationship, and all aspects of life being played out on his timeline, probably isn’t the healthy,loving relationship you are hoping for here,then again maybe that’s your thing.
But damn— assuming your little one comes in to tell you this same story ,just pause and give her a reply, I sure hope you won't tell her to stick with this man because that is an awful story.
There's a huge difference between "trying to see how" and "not even thinking of it"
I say forget the proposal, forget the relationship,Run. Run as fast as you can and one day you might turn around and see someone way better than this guy has chasing you and you were busy wasting time,and I mean that in the good way—not the scary, rapey kind of way.
How long are you going to be in a broken relationship? how long are you going to hold brief for a broken who has no plans for the future with you?
You're definitely blocking space for other people that will get attracted to you by holding on to a baseless relationship.
Six years isn't 6 months .
He is committed to wasting you, if he isn't talking about marriage after 6 years then what's his plans?he won't talk about it and he won't let you talk about it too?
Tell him you're done and leave except you also don't have good plans for your relationship.
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Chioma
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Nice reply ma'am. She should run as far as possible.
ReplyDeleteFunny! Any lady that is ripe for marriage shouldn't be in a dating relationship with a man for more than three years tops. If he didn't do the needful within that time frame, she should help herself out and quit.
ReplyDelete