Amanda Modise is a young South African undergraduate who grew up in a home filled with violence, what she described as a love-hate relationship with her two fighting parents, saw Young Amanda struggled to find a way out ,for her survival and to create a new life different from what her parents offered her,
In the midst of many needs and wants and having little to sustain her,she slipped into depression, having no one else to turn to, she turned back to her father.
Omaleeblog had a Heart to Heart talk with her.....Below are the excerpts.
Tell me briefly about your self, your growing up and your relationship with your parents and siblings?
Amanda
I am 22 years of age, i have 3 siblings they are all girls. I am the first child. I was raised by my father and step mother. My relationship with my mother was rocky (still is) although I now stay with her. Well my siblings are scattered because my home was sold due to cirmcumstances. Me and my siblings still talk now and then, I only share a mother with the 2nd born and the last two share a mother
All of you share the same father?
Amanda
Yes, we do
How did your family influence your life? The decisions you made, would you say it's being a positive one? Something you would look back and be proud of?
Amanda
I think my parents not being able to provide most of the things made me to study as hard as I can so that I can get entry to the university. Although we didnt prepare much for it in terms of applying for bursaries because I thought everything was sorted. My family taught me respect, being humble and confident in everything I do. There are also some traumatic experiences me and my siblings had when growing up. There was domestic violence like in any 9/10 families in south africa. University was my excape plan from that.
Talking about domestic violence, did you ever witness fights between your parents?
Amanda
Ever since I was about 5 yes. I can recall almost all of them.
Did it make you hate your parents?
Amanda
I think its more of a love hate relationship. Love- my dad all he can to make sure that we go to school, he provided for everything.
Hate- he used to beat my mother, step mothers in front of us. One thing also was that he didnt want my biological mother to come visit us vice versa, maybe he thought he was doing what was best for us because my mother used to leave us with the neighbours to go drink and party with friends ( this still happens and it takes me back to when I was young) i just wish my siblings didn't see all of those because as much as it traumatised me i think it will too to them. Last night i had a dream about the fights, they keep on coming back
Having witnessed all of these, I'm curious to know, how you deal with people of the opposite sex, and your relationship with people generally? Do you see the world as being cruel to you and/or do you see the world as a cruel place?
Amanda
In the past i had relationships that never lasted because apparently i was a bitter person of which i think at some point it was true. I got annoyed easily by opposite sex, and i never allowed anyone to beat me up, i always saw red flags from afar. But yes i did date and as much as bad things happen i always saw life in a positive way. To always want whats best for my siblings. I am a bubbly person when im used to the person i communicate with but i do have a problem of opening up because i don't know who to trust. I cant talk to my mother about the things she did to hurt us and her lifestyle, honestly i dont know how to approach her.
If you didn't go to the university, what else would you have loved to do?
Amanda
Played netball as a profession.
Why can't you talk to your mum?
Amanda
Like i said previously, i cant open up. I dont know how to put things up without hurting someone's feelings although it is how i see things.
What is your motto in life?
Amanda
Do your best and let God do the rest
What is your ideal family setting?
Amanda
One where there is respect, whether young or old. Full of love and encouraging others to be their best
What do you plan on doing after school?
Amanda
To become a mining engineer. I will finish one way or the other.
Since the finances aren't coming enough, how do you plan to pull through?
Amanda
I have applied for jobs and learnerships, i already went for interviews and im still waiting for the go ahead. I got a learnership for bank seta for next year and during these holidays im still waiting for pep to confirm. I know it doesnt sound ideal but every cent counts
What is your motivation?
Amanda
I believe i was created for a purpose and to become someone great. What i am going through is just a platform that God made for me but the end of it i have overcame the cirmcumstances. I am winner no matter what.
Do you like music or movie?
I love music
Who is your favourite artist?
Amanda
I dont really have a favourite artist, i listen to beyonce, rihanna actually almost everyone as long as i hear a message in the song. Or just want to dance (on my own yes, i lobe my own space where i can let my hair down😊 once in a while)
Lol, I must say, you're a very intelligent girl, I hope somehow the government and concerned individuals /organisations will read your story and come to your assistance
Amanda
Thank you so much. 🌻
What do you have to say to young people out there who found themselves in violent homes, especially those dealing with depression?
Amanda
I would encourage them to speak up to a stranger, to not put all the weight of this world on their shoulders and know that failure is inevitable but also is success. Stay in their lane no matter what and be humble, have lots and lots of respect. In terms of depression, i would say they must take a day's work at a time. I would also encourage them to play sport its helps alot.
Thank you for speaking to omaleeblog
Amanda
Thanks for giving me your time.
