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Massaging my back horizontally with his right hand, he squeezed me gently and pulled me closer, his breath was warm, I felt anxiety builtt up as he tried to whisper into my ear 'I don't want to keep saying I'm sorry,its beginning to sound like a random tune" 'Peter said ,I was quiet all through ,my two hands wrapped cross my chest, I looked into the empty space not ready to say any word.
What would I say even if I wanted to? my mind was blank, my head was empty, I wasn't sure if I could even remember my own name.he held me very close like his life depends on me. 'I love you with every breath in me ' he said ' I love you ' he said repeatedly
I was still quiet, my lips shivered, I didn't want to tell him that I loved him even more, my hands were shaking,i was jittery and afraid for myself, I hated myself for being too weak, I hated my heart for loving too much, everything was clear I was being cheated on, I was being treated badly yet here I was, on his bed, his soft touch brought me back to reality 'I know it'd be difficult for you to let go but don't forget where we started, how far we've come, it'd be so traumatic for me if we end up ruinning everything ' he continued .
Did he say ruin? I found myself chuckling 'what's there to ruin ? ' I asked him and looked straight into his face for the first time that evening, I noticed he was ruffled, he looked so pale and unkept. I still went on to tell him what was on my mind 'Peter I think we should be fair to one another, this relationship is ruined already, there is nothing to protect any longer 'I told him,not in the mood for any closeness with him I pulled the bedspread off my body, got up from the bed and walked to the window
The rays of light from the blue bulb shone on the flowered curtains making it look so beautiful, I rolled up the curtains so I could see the outside of the city, the stars shone brightly above the dark cloud, soft cool breeze tha came through flickered my hairs, it was soothing. I felt calmness return to my nerves as I inhaled the cool night breeze
I noticed Peter was walking up and down the room, I was determined to hold on, I have had enough. 'Love Is meant to heal not kill' these words from my older brother echoed repeatedly in my head
my brother, he'd never stopped blaming me for being so careless with Peter, from the moment I introduced Peter to my older brother Jordan he told me he's not comfortable "there's nothing you'd say that will convince me,he is a time waster, if you're saying you're only out to catch fun I'd understand, " my brother Jordan told me one evening about two years ago, I'd returned home that morning after a night out with Peter to meet a fumming Jordan waiting for me, "I'm disappointed in you, come on what are you doing? "he barked at me"I can't believe you'd be this careless. " I stood and watched him tonguelash me but nothing anybody said made me shift my feet on what I believed in my relationship with Peter.
It was one of those weekends I had little or nothing doing so I decided to go to the mall and pick up toiletries ,Jordan had to see his childhood friend so I decided to join him in his car, he drove me to the mall and told me to call him up once I am done with shopping, I'd spent five minutes at the toiletry section and decided to check out some denim tops at the clothing section ,I'd spotted a grey top and I wanted to try it out and see if it looked good on me" .
"That is a match made in heaven " a husky voice came from behind me and startled the hell out of me, I turned around to behold the most disarming smile I have ever seen in my life, he stood over 6 ft tall, dressed on a black top and black jeans trouser, with a gold coloured waist jacket pulled over ,his left hand was inside the pocket of his jacket while the right hand rested on the shelf, he was smiling, I took in all details in a glance and couldn't figure out his face, he obviously understood my situation because he closed up the space between us and said "the top looked good on you"," thank you " I replied then turned away immediately before I'd make a joke with my stares "I actually need to make a choice between these two Juice if it's better sweetend or unsweetened ?he had two packs of citrus juice in his stretched out hands I took a quick look at them and told him it's better sweetened if it's not on medical reasons ,he settled for the sweetend and went over to the cashier to pay ,I made my choice of colour and went to the cashier but he said someone is interested in paying for me ,I protested but he insisted and claimed he'd entered my stuff already "but I don't even know his name " I said to no one in particular he stood smiling,"My name is Peter " he said ,I stood not knowing what to say or do,the cashier packed in my stuff and handed me my receipt ,'thank you' I found myself smiling at him, just then he held my hand and started walking with me to the exit, I followed quietly to avoid the curiosity seemingly building up in the other customers who were already looking at us,
"Where do you live? " he asked me "habib street " I replied "Oh I stay off Walnut, did you drive to the mall or you came in a cab? " he asked , I told him my older brother drove me and I was supposed to call him once I finished, he said there's no need calling my brother that he'd gladly drive me home "better don't object because I'd insist " he said laughing out this time, I didn't know if I'd wanted to object or I was too carried away with the sudden drama ,I agreed to drive in his car, we got into his cream coloured pathfinder and then I noticed someone else was on the wheels "Who's he? " I asked him pointing at the guy on the driver's seat"my cousin Mike " he replied and said to the guy who looked almost like him only that Peter was a bit lighter in complexion "Mike say hi to..... "just then it dawned on us he didn't even know my name, I didn't tell him my name after he introduced himself"Crystal,I am Crystal "I finished it up for him, Mike stretched out his right hand and took mine,he winked at Peter and said "she is an Angel " both guys nodded at each other and three of us bursted into laughter.
Inside the car Peter introduced himself properly ,he was from same geo political zone with me,he lived in another country but came around to see his parents,I told him a little about me, my family and we talked about work and hobby .
Co-incidentally we had one interest in common -sports -and it's football, we talked excitedly about the ongoing football season, our favourite clubs and players, Peter was excited to hear me talk about football the way I did and it made the conversation smooth and the drive short, "Are you still shopping? ' my brother asked immediately I picked up his call p
,we've been neck deep in our conversation and I forgot to call him, Peter had brought my attention to my phone, I was telling him about the memorable experiences I have had in my club and didn't know my phone was ringing "No I'm almost home " I replied, he asked how I managed and I told him I joined a friend's car.
We got to my family house ,Mike pulled over and I got down, Peter got down as well and took my hand in his"I really appreciate your company and I would want to see you again " his eyes pierced through mine sending an emotional message, I felt cold shivers all over me, I accepted to see him again and we agreed in two days time.
I walked slowly not allowing my excitement show, I got to the gate and turned, Peter was still standing where I left him, I waved at him smiling, he waved back smiled and started walking towards his car.
"I still don't understand what you're saying "my brother said walking up and down my room, I was getting ready to go out with Peter, I really don't understand what he was insinuating "You met a guy at the mall two days ago ,you allowed him bring you home and now You're going out on a lunch date with him, are you alright? " my brother asked me I refused to get into any argument with him, At 23 years old I think I was old enough to take care of myself and I told him that, he was busy complaining about "accepting too soon" I picked up my bag and started walking out to meet Peter.
"You're breathtakingly gorgeous! " Peter exclaimed as he led me into his car, I smiled all through the ride, he complimented my looks, my dressing, my smile everything, we settled for a private kitchen in the outskirts of the city, Peter said he wanted somewhere quiet , we ordered for wine and local dishes, lunch was delicious after we're done with lunch we located a vacant seat at the end of the hall and sat down and continued gisting.
I couldn't figure out what made it so easy for two of us to get so comfortable with each other , okay once at a time we meet people we're attracted to, it happens like a magic, you won't see it coming and you can't even stop it, you are helpless and you'd find yourself dancing to every style from the beat ,that's exactly what happened between me and Peter. Just 72 hours together and emotions were flying, he was fun to be with,a smooth talker, Peter made every minute with him exciting, it felt like we've been friends since childhood only lost contact and now trying to catch up on lost time.
Covered up under my blanket, I laughed all through our chats, we'd left the kitchen ,Peter dropped me off
and promised to check up on me later in the night, he invited me to Skype with him, we're on it and he was busy cracking me up. I took several look at my cheek, he'd kissed me softly on my cheek after I got off his car, he looked into my face steadily ,that made me weak on my knee,I looked away not wanting him to notice how soft my eye balls had become at his kiss.
I know it's becoming steady and soon I may not be able to deal with it, Peter and I met every 48 hours, we talked on the telephone when we're not together, it was clear we're developing emotional feelings, I couldn't stop it even if I'd wanted to but truly I loved what I was feeling , it was so fierce and terrific, Peter dotted on me like I've been the life he'd missed "You're so amazing ,a dear soul I'd. never get tired of connecting with " he'd said holding me very close to himself, we had gone out to see movies that evening, "I'm glad I met you, I hope this continues forever, I don't want this feeling to end' he said and brushed my hairs backwards to reveal my forehead, he bent over and kissed me on my forehead, his two hands squeezed my shoulders gently and made me cling on his nicely built body,
The first time he kissed me on my lips,I closed my eyes and let him tickle me, he circled his arm around me,his whole weight fell on me, his tongue went in and out of my mouth sending waves of pleasure down my spine, his right hand ran all over my back, caressing me tenderly,"I feel like squeezing you and crushing you ' Peter whispered into my ears, I was too weak to respond, I put my right hand over his shoulders and let my body lean on his body, he wrapped my legs with his ,the warmth from his body made me feel like a baby, he pressed me to himself and his tongue closed on mine sent sweet sensations all over me.
We had gone out to the beach that night, had so much fun playing in the water, we'd settled into the mat on the sand and watched the stars gisting the evening away.
I remember how much I cried that night at the airport, I'd followed Peter to see him off to Dallas,his cousin Mike and his close friend Bartholomew were in the car with us,"you 've been crying since last night "Mike said tapping my shoulders" he's not going forever" he probably didn't understand how much closeness I've shared with Peter so he can afford to say that.I cried some more, Peter held me his wet eyes could only express how difficult it was to say good bye,still he had to board and travel back for business.
Everything stopped making sense to me,I snaped at my brother and everybody around me,Jordan made fun of me,he knew Peter has traveled and kept telling me to brighten up"I know y'all had fun but hey you gotta keep pushing, I'm certain he's gone for good " ,"You're not serious "I spat out at my older brother" why hating unnecessarily " I asked him ...
It was telephone conversations, skype and chats for the next 3 months,Peter didn't let a day pass without checking on me,few times I had slept off in my dad's room only to leave my phone behind while I walked drowsily to my room once my dad woke me up to go to bed,he'd called so early about 6 am and my dad wondered how he did that.
a couple more times and my daddy asked me to invite him to the house, "he's gone back to dallas Dad,maybe when he's on break" I told him
So it was easy for my dad to give me permission to visit peter at the spring break
Everything was good and ours seemed like the perfect relationship made in heaven ,Peter promised me a wonderful birthday surprise on my 24th birthday, the first we'd celebrate together,I waited eagerly...the surprise came but it was actually one that destroyed everything.
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