I have cheated twice, twice I have been caught,to me it was more like "good riddance to bad nonsense " but inside me it was an ugly scene /experience, it gave me this gory feeling, you know that type of feeling you get,you wanted to play a fast one and stay clean but just at the moment you are at the middle of it, someone comes in,
But like the saying goes "everything that happens in life has a lesson it teaches if only one is able to observe it"
I cheated and I learnt something.
No 1,I learnt that you cannot cheat on someone you truly love and care for.
Yes the first time I cheated on my boyfriend, it was in my very young life , Cornelius and I were friends from high school, to me it was just friendship but Cornel (as he was called) took it seriously, he saw me as his lover and the only woman he loved, he sent me tons of gifts,whenever it's Valentine's Day he made out time to create beautiful words on a beautiful card,he designed handkerchief with photos of me, and sent them with body spray or deodorants, he was a student but he tried in his little way to show me how much he cared about me, unfortunately It wasn't same for me, I didn't feel anything special for him, I wasn't even sure if I liked him enough to want to spend a day in his company,
Whenever he visited my family house during holidays, which was the only time we get to see because we attended different high schools,I always wished he didn't come around and he had this habit of spending very long time in my house on each of his visits,it was usually terrible for me enduring his stay, trying so hard to join him in a conversation I wasn't enjoying.
My sister noticed that I didn't like his company and persistently advised me to end the friendship, it was obvious we're on different lane, so one evening I wrote a comprehensive letter and explained to him why I felt we should not be acting a relationship that both of us weren't truly involved in, he came around as usual, on the road while seeing him off, I gave him the envelope containing the letter .
I didn't see Cornelius for days, I was happy and relieved ,finally I was let out of the cage. I was already breathing a fresh air, but few days before schools resumed Cornelius popped up!!
This time he wanted us to be 'Just friends",no emotions attached, I agreed but it was not because I liked it, but because of the guy Cornelius introduced to me as his "second male self '!his name was Kingsley. Cornelius told me Kingsley was his childhood friend, they attended same high school and they're in the same university, reading the same course ,on the same level.
Immediately I saw Kingsley something happened to me, I felt this rush in my veins waves of sweet feelings rushed through my nerves to my heart and I felt my heart throb, when he took my hand in his for a friendly handshake, my body shivered inside and my legs wobbled , I rushed to the couch and sat down so I won't give myself away,kingsley didn't take his eyes off me throughout their stay, they left eventually and my emotions were torn apart.
For the first time in my life I experienced a sleepless night.my thoughts were scattered, so many thoughts raced through my head, so many questions that I couldn't answer.
Where was Kingsley all these time? this was what my heart had wanted, the kind of feelings my body yearned for ,why was he Cornelius friend? how was I going to get through this? So many questions, at the end I couldn't answer any and I spent a whole night not sleeping .
I was at the courtyard in my house late in the evening the next day, I lost appetite for any food, I was not ready to confide in anybody, not even my sister, how do I begin to explain to people that I was suddenly loving my friend's best friend? I was playing with my phone when suddenly I heard someone call my name, I looked up and it was Kingsley.
Let me paint a little picture of what Kingsley looked like, chocolate skinned Kingsley stood about 6 feet tall, he had this charming smile on his face that revealed his awesome dentition, his nicely built body had the most disarming biceps I have seen, he knew he's cute and smiled endlessly to kill anybody who dared to get closer.
I was wishing my thoughts were right, something kept telling me that Kingsley would come around all alone, I saw it in his eyes that day he visited with Cornelius.
I jumped up on my feet to welcome him and found myself in his embrace,we sat down and started gisting, by the time he was leaving my family house, we felt like we've known each other from childhood.
We knew what we wanted, there's no space for pretence, we liked each other and we were attracted to each other,there was no need for negotiation,kingsley and I agreed to have a relationship, few days into our meeting.
I can't be able to paint the true reflection of my feelings because it was awesome, what I felt for him remains one of the best feelings I have ever had, it was mutual, Kingsley cared for me in a very special way, we never had enough of each other's company, we shared similar interest and ideology, we thrilled one another with soul warming conversations,kingsley was super intelligent,every moment together was savoured and it wasn't enough.
We knew we had to keep our relationship away from Cornelius, we didn't know how long it will take before he'd find out, we knew we were doing something that someone would definitely hurt from anytime it blows open but we didn't give a damn ,what mattered to us. was what we felt and what we had.
Midway into my third year in the university and Kingsley was doing his fifth and final year, Cornelius found out we have been together for almost two years,
Schools were on vacation and everybody was home, Cornelius has visited me countless times but I didn't even bother to check up on him, I always found a reason to not stay home whenever he came around, but I spent almost every of my free time with Kingsley, so that fateful day, I was with Kingsley in his bedroom,we were playing around and gisting, we didn't notice Cornelius came in, he obviously saw us holding one another ,the door was slightly open, he sat on one of the sofa in the living room Kingsley shared with his older brother in the side of the wing their dad gave them in one of their family housel.
Kingsley left to get some fruits from the refrigerator in his kitchen and saw him, I overheard him exchanging pleasantries with someone, he came in and whispered to me that Cornelius was in the living room,that moment my body froze, I stopped talking, I tiptued close to the door and peeped through the curtains and saw him! He sat with his hands supporting his head.
I didn't come out till dusk, he was still seated in the same position I saw him earlier, I walked down stairs through the kitchen to where Kingsley parked his car and he drove me home,
Two days later my sister came into my room with an envelope and told me Cornelius came in and dropped it with her and left. I opened it and it was photos of me, all the items I shared with him and a note, it was a long note ,he wrote the history of his friendship with me and how I finally decided to knife him, he wrote and I quote "in all the things you did, one that feels unbearable to me, you counted me unworthy to be respected by accepting friendship with my second male self Kingsley '
I knew I felt pity for him, I didn't know if I would have pushed Kingsley out of my mind and went on, but went on with what? For all I know there was nothing there for Cornelius,I felt nothing for him, no iota of love, and maybe I didn't care a thing about how he'd feel, all I was about was what I felt for Kingsley and that was the most important thing, and I agreed it's not possible to cheat on the person you truly love and care for, in all the time Kingsley was in my life, it was just two of us together, I didn't notice there was any other man living on earth.
We didn't end up in marriage because of a reason I will talk about in subsequent post,but one thing you should take from me is that if you are cheating on the person you claimed you love, then it's simply because you don't love them enough to care about hurting their feelings or because you don't respect them.
Let's talk about respect in the next blog post.
https://www.omaleeblog.com/2019/01/one-day-you-will-meet-someone-whos-more.html
