Wrong Dating,I Know Everything Is Wrong About Loving Him But I Don't Want To Stop.

Lovers out on a date.

You have ever been with a wrong  date?Have you ever loved someone so deeply that it  felt like your life is worthless without them?they lied to you severally yet you accepted it and wished it's the truth?

The lies were so much because he needed to conceal his identity, he refused to change his relationship status on Facebook because he wanted to hide the truth,I found out all of these ,still I can't keep away from him.

"Cheryl  you're a fool" my immediate younger sister spat out at me,I know but I was cool with that, Franklin  was my life and that's all I cared about, ours wasn't a healthy relationship but It's the sweetest I have had and I loved him like no other

 I fell in Love with Franklin, you know the early morning text and late night conversations at weekends. He crept into my heart with his dotting and caring.Franklin was  an amazing dude,his charisma and confidence  was out of this world.

He lived in Saudi Arabia and I lived in the UK,his busy schedule as a medical doctor gave him little space for traveling so we made do with calling and messaging.

Holiday came and we agreed to travel  for the winter  break  .we're from the same country but different States, We  met in London and travelled home together, we got into the capital territory and decided to spend two days before  leaving for our various home,till date it remained the best two days to remember,

I knew Franklin was caring but staying closer to him   made me realise the gem I got in a man,it was a love filled-fun packed breathtaking two days,simply put Franklin was sweeter than honey,more romantic than Romeo,

It was hard for us to leave each other's company but we had to because it was the festive  period and we had to meet up  with our different  families.Reluctantly he returned to his state  while I traveled to my own state, we agreed to meet  two days after Christmas day..

Two days to the day we scheduled to meet Franklin called me to tell me that  we should postpone the appointment because of some family engagements he needed to fix,he hasn't been home in the past two years so everybody  was  waiting for him.

I cried like a baby,he pleaded with me and   asked   that I should understand and bear with him, I've gotten used to Franklin keeping me company ,on the phone though, that visit was the needed opportunity for us to spend  more real time together and see if something real could happen between us for good.I was heartbroken.

After Christmas celebration he told me we could meet on 3td January, again he cancelled it,I didn't find any word that could describe how horrible I felt.My younger sister didn't find it funny at all, she felt I had too much expectations and I was being over dependent on a guy I had  no solid relationship with.

I clinged  to my sister and saw the holiday to an end,with the festive period over, I packed my stuff and headed to Lagos ,I'd spend few days in Lagos before traveling back to the UK,Surprisingly Franklin  showed up,he  apologized,gave all manner  of excuses and promised to be good, at this point my gut already warned me to be careful.

I was careful though but Franklin was exceptionally good.He was  kind,caring and amazingly romantic,I can say I was lost in lust for him

It wasn't  easy for me to keep him away from me,once his eyes locked with mine.I'd  melt and get  consumed in his endearing passion . I believed he  was truly crowded so I forgave him.

Back in Europe life continued .I enjoyed his  endless doing.He gave me everything and more,He wouldn't tell me much about his family "I'm the person in love with you and not my family" Franklin would tell me whenever I asked questions about his immediate family, I'm good in respecting boundaries so I'd always leave talks about his family out of our discussions

One evening my sister sent a message that I should come on WhatsApp ,I did and she sent me two photographs. I opened it and saw Franklin carrying a new born baby with the caption "Thank God for his blessings.Little Hildah is here"

There's no denying it,Franklin was married.

Read More »

How To Know If He Is In To Build A relationship After A first Date Or He Is Only Dating For Fun.

A young girl who got frustrated after a first date

It's your first time falling in love after your first date,and he's not keeping up.You're already worried about if he's in to build a relationship with you or he's merely out  for fun dating.

Maybe you've been in love  at other times or you've been with your boyfriend for  a period   and  he stopped  giving attention to  the relationship .

Every woman wants to feel safe in her  relationship ,what is considered the most powerful key to creating a  healthy relationship is Communication.

But what happens when he suddenly goes cold?knowing it's almost impossible to  build trust in a relationship without constant communication, you become  worried,panic could set in and  you start experimenting so many tips in a bid  to save your relationship and get the man you love back to you.

It is still okay to put in effort to build your relationship and restore lost love, but have you asked yourself this one question,"Does he truly love me and want to be with me?".
It's one billion dollar question a lot of women try hard to avoid, yet it's a decider to what you're fighting to have.if a man  is dating a woman  or they're getting to meet for a first date,definitely he'd be all up on her face,he'd work hard to get her excited so that she'd love to go out with him,but what  is the motive behind his request?


You may never know if there's no communication, he may hang around for awhile and you've fallen hopelessly in love with him and you'd  think you can't go a day without him,when he's leaving unannounced you'd even be  scared to accept he's not the one for you.

"No I'm not just doing enough" most women say this a lot of times,many will still  be willing to put more effort even when it's staring them in the face that "He doesn't just want you".

I'm not a kill Joy ,I'm only trying to help,I was somewhat like that. I met and fell hopelessly in love with a guy who had no intention of staying with me.I was doing all the loving ,from  our first date I thought  I have met my prince charming,I started putting in so much work  to build a healthy relationship with him but he was carefree, eventually he severed all form of  communication,I lost my sense chasing him,I broke my head in attempt to save a relationship that was not Loyal,I was Lucky to come out of it but I was bruised.

How Do You Know When The Guy You Just Met Or Your long Time Boyfriend Is In For A Real Thing Or He's Only Out For A Headwash?

I did a little experiment and it worked.
After many weeks of 'chasing' boo .I got tired of his empty promises of returning my calls and text messages, I curled up  ,I stopped calling and texting,I stopped visiting too,it was not easy but I held on  and after one month it became clear he never wanted to keep me.

Pause for sometime,give him space, don't call .don't text,maybe for days or week,just give him 5 days or one week,no nothing then see if he'd come back.

You'd definitely ask "what if I can't wait for five  days?,I love him and I'm missing him "
When did he become  the breath you breathe? It is still okay to miss people.at the same time you can miss them and still move on,The thing is you keep chasing him and he runs off on it,he knows you'd keep coming for him,why not put your hands off your keyboard and put your legs inside your house and make him realize it's really serious and he's at the risk of losing you?

"What if he doesn't come back?then why would you want to  be with someone like that? Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?someone who cares nothing about losing you?
He obviously had no plan of  building a relationship with you therefore it's so wise to let him go  so you can clear space to welcome a conscious love.

Read More »

Get The Healthy Tips To Guide You Through Your Dating &Marriage Stage

THE CARDINAL RULES FOR LOVE ,SEX AND MARRIAGE 

THE  A-Z OF A HEALTHY  RELATIONSHIPS. 

"Falling  for you  is not falling  at all, it's walking into a  house and finally realising  I'm  home"

Finding  true love  and keeping it real and  lasing a life time  isn't as hectic as we usually  paint it to be! I'd  say rather "it's  us leaving out what we NEED  to do and  doing WHAT IS NOT NEEDFUL"


And then you're   panicking,searching frantically  for a way out,it all came to you too late  because you  followed the wrong  path.


Are you  over thinking? Over analyzing and blaming  yourself  killing your goddess  vibe and affecting your  dating  life?

Overthinking is a safety response and let’s be honest it’s exhausting and it kills relationship flow.


It's time to  get our  heads  clear and  think  straight, my happiness is that  many  people are seeking to  know the  transparent  way of MEETING AND  MAKING  the  right  choice of WHO OUR   future  partners will be,
.
It came like a  whirlwind and  envolped  most  youth, dating and  marriage  all of a sudden  became a  gangster  game, the  things that  should. matter were  swept   away  and irrelevant  things that can never be a force in building  and  sustaining a formidable  love  relationship  were  made  important  at the detriment of  lovers. fingers  got burnt and more  fingers will  still  get burnt.

Recently  homes  were broken,relationships  were  shattered and  love were  lost.
It's  just the  beginning of  the  doom  that  many relationships  will  go through unless we retrace our  steps and seek what  should  be.

I was once  bitten. and I became  hundred times  wiser, I got  involved in a relationship I felt  was the  best, I counted on the  emotional  rush that existed between  us, I felt it was enough to  see us through, I idealized love  and believed  the  love we shared was  all we needed to  be the  best  of  couples, the  riches and affluence  couldn't  keep up the  flame at the end  I came out  wounded.

Because there's  more to  love, relationship and  marriage than  having  plenty emotional  feelings, plenty  riches and  plenty  good times, it became pertinent to tell the  young  people how best to  find  lasting  love .

Because I  experienced  a lot that I wouldn't want other young people to ever go through. I decided to  put  my  experience together in a book as well as proffer  solutions..

How do you  date  rightly?fall in love rightly and  make  the  right  choice of a life  partner?

Everything  is inside  my one stop shop  e-book <<<THE CARDINAL  RULES FOR LOVE, SEX AND MARRIAGE 

I don't  believe there's one  possible  soulmate  for anybody, no matter how much we feel in love with  the  people we're  seeing, it does not  mean they are the  right  partner.the deep   connection we have with  them can happen with anyone, they are only  showing us what is possible, we can't  choose them  because the  emotional  feeling  is enormous and the  sex is good. No there are a lot to  meeting, loving and living.


In Cardinal rules for love, sex and marriage  I wrote about

1 How to meet the  right partner

2 How to experience a wonderful  sexlife with the  person you are   choosing

3 How to create  a lasting union

4 How to keep the  spark up in a romantic  love   relationship  till autumn  years

Cardinal rules for love  is a forever relationship guide  that  will  keep you up through out  lifetime.

I am giving it out at a very  cheap  rate so that  many people will  benefit from it.

With as low asN2,000 (Two thousand  Naira ) you  can get a copy of this  very essential  guide,

To build your  home
Create  lasting  sex life
Meet, choose and  live with your  soulmate

<<<<<get a copy of CARDINAL RULES FOR LOVE, SEX AND MARRIAGE >>>>>IT IS THE  A-Z PRINCIPES OF A HEALTHY  RELATIONSHIP.

Pay into  this  account <<<

Then mail  the  name you  paid with to me <<<  chicrystal90@gmail.com>>> or  send it on whatsapp together with your Gmail address to  09072465066>>>>a copy will be sent to you.

Most of  the  public figures  most of us see as our role  models have  broken up with their  partners  ,if you  read the  news  the  causes of these  break ups are always  cases of  cheating and  incompatibity, in order  not to  make  such   mistake,learn the  cardinal  principles to finding  long  lasting  union,

Even if your  marriage  is on the  brink of  collapsing,by applying the  tips listed in this  guide you will be surprised to see how quick things  will  redirect and a new  spark  kicked off.

Avoid  saying  "if I had known" here is your  guide to knowledge,

make good use of it.

Rooting for you.

Chioma cynthia 
I'm a counseling psychologist, a relationship therapist  and a sex coach. 

Read More »