GIRlS TALK (Episode 1) When Do You Know You Are In Love?

Romantic love which is what we are looking at is the kind of love that exists between a man and a woman. It is hugely controlled by emotions, passion and desire. It is the feeling of attraction between the opposite sex , the Greeks called it "madness of the gods" .Romantic love mostly leaves  the  people in it without choice, it is swift and breezy, most people believes one really have no hold on when love can happen to them,but it's strongly believed that we usually have control over whom we choose to be in love with.


So when do you know you are in love?

You're sure you're truly in love with  this guy,you're putting in work but he feels indifferent. He's not showing signs of mutuality and his intentions aren't clear.How would you handle this?

Girls Talk  took opinions of these beautiful young women and these are what they have to say.

 I am Kemza Timmy,29  and A Fashion Designer.
OK for me I know I'm in love  when I think about a guy more than anything else, I feel the urge to be with him often and when I smile unknowingly at his calls then I know I love him.

Girls Talk-So You know you're in love with him,you're putting in effort to make the relationship work but he's  not  doing enough, What would you do?

 If I have put in work to make a guy actually ask to date me and he is not acting like he sees me the only thing I will do is to let him be, I will try to avoid him and with time the feelings will disappear,  this senario has happened to me before. It's difficult to let go and sometimes it could make a person feel worthless but when you find someone else you will be good and look back and be glad the other guy did not even give in

Admin-So like a disappointment being a blessing in disguise?

Something like that

Girls Talk-Admin please one quick one

Admin- okay

Girls Talk-Which is more difficult,Letting go or starting again? 

Admin-Why not ask the girls?I'm not eligible to participate. 

Girls Talk lol,thanks ma'am  Let's meet the beautiful woman next  on the line.

 I am Fatima Binta Idris,I am 25 years  and a Legal Practitioner.

Girls Talk -So When Do You Know You're In Love

I know i am in love when hearing from "him" via calls or texts lightens my mood. I  know Iam in love when he is the first person I want to call always and I stop working on my backup plans. Most times when I find myself going through previous chats with that smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach; I am in love. I know I am in love when I cant wait to share some of the stupid things I did during the day with "him". It is mostly in my guts.

Girls Talk-He wanted you and seeked you out,but inside the relationship he's not been the guy you expected him to be,doesn't act like he's in it with you.How would you handle it?

Mostly when I put in work in the relationship I expect the same energy given back. But if the guy is not reciprocating same or have no clear intentions I let him go.

Girls Talk -How easy is it  for you to  let go?

I am a lady and deserves to be "chased" every day like he is still trying to  make me his woman. I  do not have the luxury of time to be left hanging with no clear cut intentions. I love certainty; its either we are both in or please don't waste my time. I don't force things to happen especially relationships, let nature do its work; if its meant to be it will totally happen. I would never waste a man's time and would appreciate if mine is not wasted either. Where I don't get what I want, I channel the same energy into another...I would never force love to happen. Men always know when a lady is the "one" I would never give a man the satisfaction   of tagging me as being too "up in his face or business". You cannot force a man to commit. If a guy truly loves you, you don't have to teach him how to treat you right or do the right things. I always know when its time to cut my loses and bolt.

Girls Talk-Thank you beautiful Fatima,next on the line is-Lets meet You Adorable

 I am Dolly Korede,28 and a Worker

Girls Talk-Tell us  what love means to you and when you know you're in love?

Firstly I'd like to say something about love.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, it is also a variety of different feelings, state and attitude with no limits or conditions for a person.

The feeling of love may not likely be  different from the feeling of infatuation but being persistent with it can actually tell what it is.

I know I am  in love when
1. I always think about him and want him around me at every point.
2. When my heart rate synchronises with his
3. I always want him to be happy irrespective of anything and
4. I just love everything about him and hardly finds faults not because there aren't faults but because the percentage of love  I have for him is high enough to cover his flaws.

Love can sometimes be crazy especially when you want someone that doesn't feel like he wants you back by reciprocating what you feel for him and in such a situation,I cannot pull  myself down for someone who doesn't find it interesting to stay in my  life. I don't run after a person who doesn't have an intense feeling for me.

If I find myself in a situation of loving someone so deep and I know in my  heart that I truly love this person  but he doesn't  reciprocate  or appreciate how  I  feel about him, I will
1. Accept the fact that he doesn't need  me
 2.Leave the dream about him behind and move on
3.I won't get angry with him or myself
4 I will Recognise that I can't control that person's emotion and I will express my  feelings to myself and get rid of his memories.

Girls Talk- There's no much difference on how  the Ladies view love,It's necessaLove?o appreciate the feelings of someone who truly loves us especially the person we seeked out ourselves,
If at any point we feel like what we thought was real doesn't feel same,its important we talk it over and agree on the next step instead of  abusing someone's emotion. "Don't hurt  a heart that chose to love you"

Feel free to drop your opinion on the topic  "When do you know you are in love?",let's do this again next week.
Stay Adorably Feminine.

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Do You Need The Right Man? Your Emotional Stability Is Key.

Women emotions are  so deep yet tender and  most times  very  fragile  they  involve  emotion  into almost  everything concerning them

When it's about  relationships with  men, women  tends to  read  meaning into  every  single  act, word,sign   and  gesture

While the man wants to see, the woman enjoys hearing
In most cases women cherishes intimacy, they see everything sacred in it revering whoever that has the  privilege of being in their  heart

For instance, While  most men sees  sex as a passive thing, something meant to satisfy and to be enjoyed whenever, wherever and with whomever, women  hold dear to their hearts who they get  intimate with,

Sex is sacred to most women and they  see it as a unifying  factor! more as a unit of  bonding , a lot of times it's a problem for a woman to get over the man they have shared  intimate moments with, when  things  go sour,.they want to  hold on every  details and  events  around  them.

To a lot of men there are stages of affection when sex is involved, a friend  told me that  there are women you would want to cuddle the  morning after, some you would kiss and go all the way with and there are some you just want to have at the heat of the moment,to these  later  category, nothing is worth  risking  for them

To most women it's all encompassing, the moment a man gets  closer they want him to stay forever, it's always very difficult for a woman  to let go once a man has spent intimate moments with her ,when a man makes  her feel giddy  and keeps her heart  racing, to her then it means  IT IS THE  REAL THING! THIS IS THE  ONE!!
She wants him to be there always ,she wants  him  to  love her , she  wants  him to  care for her  and respect her.

Unlike  women  ,men  seems to  see emotions as a girly  thing, for most of  them  ,it's about  having  fun when they  need to and  getting  serious when it's  time,

Since it's different strokes, could it be wise and better if women that falls into this category  hold on to the  way they  feel?  or should  they  begin  to  see things  differently ?
 It should not be an indecision and one should never decide not to decide through equilibrium facts this is on our breakfast table, striving to  get the men to think like them  or hoping to see them change seems like  a tall order,
The  best is for everyone to  learn how to   have   control over what they  feel,and more importantly who they let into their lives.

Being  emotionally  stable isn't a small  business, it  needs a lot of  work to get our  hands  around it, but at the end, it's the  best  work  we have  ever  put in efforts for.


3 Most  Outstanding  Benefits  Being  Emotionally  Stable  Offers.

1,Anyone who is  emotionally  stable  hardly  have   anyone  mess up her  life

2, Emotionally stable  women  hardly  settle for less,they know what they want at  Every  point. 

3, Emotionally  stable  women always  have  clear  cue to  who they are  choosing, they are not  panicky nor desperate

For more  on "how to be emotionally  stable " send me a mail chicrystal90@gmail.com

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Girls Talk-Jane Ebun Said She Doesn't Believe In Dating .

From my teen years I've held this view that every  woman deserve love and care irrespective of her flaws,she isn't a woman for Mockery nor was she created to be treated less.

I had a Long conversation in a transit  four days ago with a group of strangers ,very intelligent young men and women with vast knowledge about life that I found amazing,it was  so interesting that all of us  wanted a second meeting so we could round off our debate kind of conversation.

The conversation  sparked off from a telephone conversation from one of the occupants of the transit, a young woman of about 24 years,she told us she works in  a hospitality company as a consultant.

I noticed she was not comfortable picking up  the call that kept coming into her phone, each time her phone rang she'd quickly put it off,after a while she'd put it on again, it was none of my business so I kept quiet,the guy seated close to you suddenly started laughing then said loudly “why not take your call and  tell him you're not interested?”, the girl obviously irritated by his words hissed and asked the guy if it's his business?, the guy kept laughing and it  stired an argument between them,before I know what's up a guy joined in the argument then another guy joined then a young woman joined and another and another.

I listened attentively and understood the basis of their argument,because I'm the type that always want to be clear on whatever I'd get into ,I raised my voice and asked what the argument was about?

She said that she doesn't see the need  for a girl to keep a boyfriend,It will be better if they meet and  get married”

It  generated so much fuss,she kept saying she had her reasons,being a creep,I collected her number and opened up a conversation with her on WhatsApp,after 24 hours she opened up to me.

Her name was Jane ,she told  me her story….

“I met this guy at my place of work about four months ago, his name was  Collins, he was very polite and friendly ,I gave him a warm   reception,made sure he had everything he requested for on time,he booked for 30 days according to him ,his company had plans to bring their services to the  city  ,he was sent to survey the city, he spent  times at  the lounge in the evening, I spend my evenings at the lounge before  retiring to my bedroom, most of the time I'd sit out at the lounge, he'd be there, he'd always come closer to where I sit to ask one question or the other then we'd get into a Long conversation.

It didn't take too Long and we warmed up to each other, I started looking forward to our evening sit out, It was embarrassing for me when It started feeling like my evening wasn't complete without him,I found myself missing him and longuing for His company, I tried so hard to not betray myself giving out my emotions, Collins was caring to  a large extent, he's always looking out for me.he made provisions for my feeding and other luxury for the 30 days duration his stay lasted,it helped me save some money.

One evening while sitting out with Collins, he told me that he'd be traveling to Germany in few days,the news hit me hard,my mood dropped because I wasn't expecting it ,it was almost impossible for me to not betray my emotions, I was cold all of a sudden, Collins noticed and drew closer ,he held me and asked me severally what went wrong all of a sudden?, but I wouldn't talk,he asked if it's my job and I said no,he asked if it was him?,I kept quiet,he held me closer, squeezed me to his body and asked me again if it was because of him?I looked up  and our eyes met,he held my jaw with His right hand and said  “Jane tell me it's me and I would understand”, trusting he will understand I nodded in affirmation ,then went on to tell him how he'd become a part of me that I wouldn't want to let go,"I'd really miss him so much”

Collins  Lent forward and whispered into my ears” this is mutual”, he  confessed to have had tough time fighting  to keep me  away from his thoughts,and how much I'd been an awesome company, he'd definitely miss  me.

The  next five days which were his last on that visit was the most fascinating moment I've shared with anybody, we bottled up a lot already. there was  huge sexual tension between us,Collins confessed  he'd made love to me in different positions in his head,”I've made love to you a thousand times in my head,shared with you unspoken words in my subconscious”he told me while we were lying down on his hotel bed,Collins and I spent all day of the five kissing, smooching and making torrid love.

Eventually Collins traveled and I felt hollow, like everything in me was taken away,loneliness overtook me,I found myself crying most times,I couldn't share my missing with anybody because  it was my private life, my colleagues were not my friends. Collins called and we shared times together,it was never like physical contact, I  missed my companion away all time.

You can imagine my shock when my supervisor walked into my office and asked for a heart to heart talk,I granted him time and he bursted my head,he told the news trending in the establishment about how I  spent time servicing the Afro Briton that just left the guest house, he had proofs to back up his story, I took a closer look at the chats and it was Collins discussing me with some other guy,my supervisor said it was  the new guy who  recently came into our guest house, he  said he was concerned, he feared I might fall prey to their antics,to avoid further damage to my personality he decided to bring this to my notice, in that chat Collins told the guy how good I was in bed and recommended  me for him to seek out as a sex mate while he stay last,h

As a consultant in the establishment I commanded huge respect, I was hardworking and dedicated, I held Bsc/MSC in food technology and hotel management,the bulk of the office work was on my desk,I didnt want such experience,I prayed the story stop spreading as fast as it  started ,my supervisor was very supportive, I opened up  to him ,

I didn't see any reason whatsoever to allow Collins into my space,he has been calling  and texting,I  replied him once and told   him he's the dirtiest “human alive “,

Tell me one good reason I should let him or any other man into my space? He claimed it was mutual, he claimed he developed strong feelings for me and wished we could have something concrete, how can one reconcile his act and  his words?

"I'm done with men,I dont have energy for some  callous  individuals".

Admin's Pick

      I wanted to give my thought but felt I should bring it on Girl's talk so fellow girls can share their thoughts. even guys.

Is it   bad for a girl to be open while dealing with a guy or should the girl just be mute and let the guy do everything?

Question No 2- When do you think a girl should allow sex to happen in her relationship with a guy?is it safe to get intimate with a guy you're just meeting?

Please

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5 Things You May Do That Will MakeYour Girlfriend Mad At You.

Talking About Other Girls

 The only thing you will get doing this is a headache and  blue balls,
Take  your girls emotional health into consideration, she will definitely feel you're not loyal ,maybe you're having secret admiration on the girl you talk about, she will feel she's not enough for you.

*Respect her emotions by showering her with all the compliments,don't dwell on talks about some other girl

Taking Time To Text Back

No woman wants to be ignored, she knows you have your phone in your hand almost all day so she expects you to text back as soon as possible.

*You may be busy with stuff,try to take  out little time to check your phone and reply her text after all she is also an important part of your life.

Lack Of Interest

 Men don't always understand girls logic, the interest is all encompassing.. Tell her words of  endearment, make her feel important and exclusive.

Your girl is out here trying to love you, she wants to be the centre of your life, she wants to be  involved in everything about you, Carry her along,involve her in the important decisions  you make,it will guarantee her safety with you.

Spending More Time With The Guys

Prioritize your time,she understands you will hang out with the guys but she expects you to also give spending times with her a whole thought.
Girls always want attention give it to her

Devoting Times To Other Girl's Online Activities.

She already started stalking and tagging her  the "other girl" she will feel disrespected when you use other girls  pictures on your dp,like their  posts.

You will not avoid following other girls on social media, it's  girls  problem,just be mild so you don't provoke jealousy in your girl.

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Why Can't Ivy Understand That I Don't Love Her?

I told  my  boss that the  MTB girl has been disturbing  asking to see me, she  said why not if I can, so that evening I decided to  take her  call and we agreed to meet up that evening.

I met her at the  bus stop close to  my office and she  drove us to her  house, which was  where we agreed for the 'private  meeting ',we got into  her apartment,  it was a  nicely  made  mini  duplex sparesly  furnished ,the  beautiful   milk  coloured curtains fitted well  with the couch, I took in the  whole  apartment in a  second .

She took me to a seat and excused  herself so she can tidy up,munites later  she  came out with two  glasses of wine and offered me one, I took  it and we  made a toast to great  partnership.

We talked about everything,work,family,circle of friends, state of the country etc, we drank our  wine and  munched  the  fried chicken she  brought ,I waited for her to say something  about  business  deal or proposal  but  nothing of such  came up throughout our conversation.

It was a little over  11 pm when I  stood up to go but she refused, she  said the  estate she  lived  has a  common gateway  that  get  locked  by 11pm that it'd be a bit risky going out  very  late and pleaded with me to spend the night. It was a Friday and there's no work  the next day,  so why not? I told myself to relax and enjoy the  new environment and company I had.

Each one of us was exhausted, after the days work and long talk plus the terrible traffic we encountered on the road to her  house, it didn't  take  longer time for us to sleep off.

I turned around and it was wee hours of the  morning, the  bedside  clock  showed  it was 4.15 am, the  room felt  cool, the  air-condition  was on, I looked at the figure lieing  beside me, she  looked  peaceful in her  sleeping  mood! I smiled and  pulled the  bed sheets  over  my  body,I placed  my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling not sure if I would be able to sleep again.

I felt  her movement as she  crawled  closer to  me, her breathe was heavy and fast, she  drew  closer and wrapped  her hands over  my shoulder, her slender and  velvet  body  clinged on me, I felt  my  manhood  lept, the  softness of her skin  sent  waves of emotions  surge through my veins.

I held  myself  not wanting to be too  forward and not wanting to  be a coward either.
She pressed  her  body  tightly on me,her soft  breast  brushed on  my body and multiplied my uneasiness, she  pushed  her mouth to mine and forced  her tongue into  my  mouth and began to kiss me hungrily,by now  my penis  has grown bigger .

I turned over and  held her, her body was soft to the touch, I kissed her. On the  cheek  then on her lips, I kissed her all over her  neck, soft  moans escaped  her .

This was  someone I knew  nothing about her  personal life ,we had great  office relationship, being the accountant in the  bank  my  company  banked with , she  was diligent and has great  respect and   excellent work experience

Our  lips  locked together in a very  passionate kiss, we rushed  our  body, touched the  right  places ,our body  locked together I deep emotions ,we  made sweet  passionate love, we climaxed again and again, spent we rested our  body in each others embrace.

I woke up at about   noon,had bath and ate the  Jollof rice she  prepared for lunch,
 I left to my house after  few hugs and nice words.

life returned to  normal for me, I buried  myself into  my work and had  little time for leisure, but it was not the same for her,I don't know if it was the sex that  sparked up things on her  side, her calls  tripled, she wanted to talk to me every  minute,she wanted to   see me every day and  made  efforts to  get  me over to her house   but I  refused to  let that happen.

I don't  feel anything for her, nothing  strong or even  something that  can make  me want to be with  her, I noticed  her legs  shake  while we made  love  ,she was extremely  excited, I am not into  her, It was just a  mere  pleasurable moment we shared  but  she is finding it hard to accept it.

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Because It Was Too Close For Comfort

"I understand when you don't remember to return my call or reply to my  messages. I truly understand"...tears  brimmed down my face, I had my phone in my hand, I watched the  message  delivered to  Steve's  whatsapp inbox, I waited eagerly to get his reply, it all seemed  strange to me, just few  months ago Steve  was the  person waiting to see me reply to his messages  or return his calls.
I wasn't  heartless  nor insensitive  I was  only  being  careful, it  seemed odd to me  hooking up with a  guy I've  had some  closeness with  his friend, Ray my  former date was  Steve's  school  mate and  close friend,I met  Ray during my 6 months  industrial attachment at a food  manufacturing  company .

Ray was  transferred to another  branch  a month after  my  arrival at the company  before then we had this  spark of attraction between us, Ray had this  charisma that  made it so easy to  notice him and  get attached to him, he was friendly and free, we already  picked up  constant  private chats so when  he left to his new  office  we continued, the build up was  interesting, it looked real and fulfilling, it made me anticipate  my next conversation with him.

Deep down inside of me I craved for something  stable, I was  22 and  single, I've not been in any  serious relationship in recent time ,almost done with studies I looked  forward to creating a whole new  steady relationship that could make out something tangible in the end.

Ray was everything I dreamt of having  my  man look like, handsome, charismatic with a good job, he was  caring if I'd  judge from the little time I've  spent with him.

So a little far away from me, i related with Ray through the internet, chats, calls etc,
We became so close, it felt good,  I was already  painting a picture of how our relationship will  look like.

Ray told me he was  pursuing a course on management that if it works out he'd  have to  leave the food company and focus on the course. In the time I was with Ray it was difficult for me to say exactly what I  meant to him, he was here and there, he didn't  make it obvious but  I knew he was seeing other girls, every now and then he used different girls  pictures on his profile, when I ask he'd tell him they were his cousins or childhood friends celebrating their  birthdays or that he just saw  a cute pics of theirs and decided to  make them feel good,
I  took his explanations  bitterly, I noticed  Ray likes sex a lot,he wants me to visit him every time and  these  visits were  all about sex, Ray can go on having sex with  me for a whole day, when I try to  make him understand how improper it was, he'd  always get angry and  he'd  become  moody and  would  end  up  not talking to me for  days.

It made me sad and  lonely spending days without him, I would  always go back to him and apologise, we would  make up and he'd start all over again. I was a slave to  his passion.
I had two months  more to stay in the company when  Ray resigned, he got his admission to study further, the  university was in another city so he  moved away, this time it means we can only see  sparingly. I was  broken, I missed  Ray a lot and  feared for our fragile  relationship. Because I couldn't  trust  Ray to be careful not to  harm what we  were building  I had to resign to fate.

It came too soon,Before Ray left yo his new school he told me that his phone was bad ,he said he would work on it or get a new one.two weeks after Ray packed out it became almost impossible for me to get through to him ,it's either his phone was switched off  or he's not picking,it was hard for me to cope,I was used to talking to him almost on daily basis. the times he'd pick he'd tell me that he's busy with one thing or the other and he'd promise to call me. I'd wait for days on end.

I became miserable, there's nobody to talk yo because we kept our relationship private. It was terrible time for me.Ray was busy posting photos of him and other girls and sometimes guys but he'd tell me that his phone was bad.

Before I  could realize it one harrowing month has gone and my relationship with Ray  was blank with no direction, I spent most nights crying on my phone, I'd hold my phone after calling and texting Ray and cry,I pleaded with him to please remember how we started and the times we shared, I waited endlessly to see a change but the more I tried the more Ray drift away.

One evening I was sick and I feit empty. I needed to talk to a loved one. I called Ray to tell him how I was feeling, he picked up and started screaming at me, he said a lot of things but the only thing I wanted to remember was him telling me that "I was a pin,that I don't let him rest",he said it's not everyday we would talk"

I dropped my phone beside me and cried ,I didn't know where I wronged Ray,it was frightening realizing how deep I allowed myself sink into his emotions, I became a wreck.
For weeks I cried ,I couldn't  do anything  my thoughts and acts were  scattered, I hurt knowing  Ray  deliberated  shut me out, I wondered  endlessly if at all he truly  loved me? It was difficult to get him out of my mind
I was out to pick up stuff that evening when I ran into Steve, I've seen him twice after Ray's departure, he's Ray's school mate and both of them had a decent relationship. Steve pulled over and offered me a ride to wherever, I accepted majorly because I wanted to talk to him about Ray,expectedly he asked about us and I opened up to him,I told him everything that my relationship with Ray had become. Steve told me he wasn't surprised, he knew Ray so well,he told me he knew he's merely wasting time with me but he felt I'd find out myself ,he said it was not his duty to tell me as that would portray him as a spoiler,I was  shocked hearing  Steve's  thought  but it  wasn't  his fault, he was been his friend's  keeper .

Steve became a regular in my  house, his visits  were  soul-lifting,he talked to me on the  telephone whenever  he couldn't  come over, gradually  I started  feeling better, I found  myself  smiling and  looking forward to  going out  with  Steve to shop or just  people watch.

One evening  after we'd  gone out to the  park ,Steve  pulled me  back to himself and  kissed me  passionately ,he'd  opened the door of the  car for me, I'd  stepped out  and  already  started to  walk into  the  verandah when he walked up to me, I closed my eyes in mixed  feelings, the  kisd was  warming and I liked it but it was  odd  coming from  Steve.

I wouldn't say that I wasn't expecting that to happen anytime soon but I didn't want it, I was afraid it  may cause  strains in our  cordial relationship  because I have  Ray somewhere at the corner of my  heart and  Steve  was his friend!!

Recently  our  hanging out took a new dimension with  Steve  always going  privately in our discussions, often when I was alone  my  mind  drifted to him, waves of emotions  ran through  my nerves and veins  but I shut it down as quickly as I could, I can't  date  Steve  no it was too close for comfort.

But Steve  disagreed "I'm not  Ray's  relative ,we weren't  great friends back in school, we just clicked  because  we found ourselves in a  strange  land "Steve explained  but I wouldn't  have any of it.

Steve  pleaded and  did everything to make me understand his feeling was genuine but I remained  adamant

It's almost one year ago ,I didn't know where Steve is nor know anything about him, I see him online on social media platforms ,he'd not  message me nor like  any of my  posts, I don't message him either, Something started happening to me, I started  missing  Steve and longing to be with him, I felt bad for  rejecting him previously, now that I want him I'm  confused about how to go about  getting him to look my way.
I messaged him 'hello'he replied within seconds  and  I was  happy.,we had a light chat ,the  next day I chatted him up again  he'd always reply  then I called  him, he picked up ,we talked a little and he told me he wanted to go back to work and  promised to call again .

I am still waiting for his call, all of a sudden I'm  feeling emotional and  acting like Steve is being  wicked but I had my  chance!! Steve may be trying to be polite but it's obvious  he's gone from me ,what he'd felt for me  has obviously wilt ,he is definitely  with another girl, I felt tears  run down  my cheeks, I want to have  Steve  back  ,if only he would  I promise to love him to the  moon and back

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